It's December 31st, and I'm staring at one slim little bleak winter month to ready myself, my studio, my inventory, my business, for the big wholesale jewelry shows in Tucson, Arizona.

February in Tucson means five weeks of jewelry shows, mineral shows, rock shows, bead shows, and more craziness. And as always, it is a matter of faith that I can just hunker down, and make the lampwork glass beads I will be selling in thirty days.

There are piles of earrings ready to go... I think. ARE they ready? ARE they ... not ready?  I just don't have time for this in January!!

There are dark Goddesses. Strange beads of attitude, cross, perhaps even crabby. And I am sure there will be more. I must love and chereish them for who they are, as they are truly my mirror. But I wonder if they will be loved in Tucson. It takes quite the woman to see the Goddess in the Goddesses I make.

And there are the piles of beads. Bird beads, parrot beads, Owl beads, painstakingly created in lampwork glass, hoping to find their forever home. They are like piles of rubies and diamonds to me. But when I go, will anyone in Tucson think, "Yes! This is it!" Or will I watch the thousands of shoppers pass me by, looking for a good smoothie, that isn't too sweet. Or asking me over my table, over my lampwork glass wildlife beads, "Where is the Tamale vendor? Are the Vegetarian ones any good?"

Creativity, in whatever form, jewelry, glass, sculpture, beadwork, gardening, cooking, even fashion, Creativity requires bravery. I know everything will work out fabulously. I will have a great time, I will reconnect with friends I haven't seen, I will refresh myself. I will drink in the wild rush of the show, and have the power to run for many months. But this month, January, I have to face the fear, face the doubts, and win this wrestling match every day.